Thursday, July 21, 2011

Part Two: The Hottest Day on Earth...wait...what do you mean we may not close?

Ok so fine fine fine all the fixes, all the stuff, all the problems blah blah blah. In the end I get a gorgeous f**king house right? It will ALLLL work out. No stress. Just put it in perspective. In perspective. In perspective. Ok, I can do that. No problem.

So...I go out with my bestie Tali for coffee and breakfast, and we dish about our lives and then take a quick trip to Tiffany's to ring shop. Now, listen, my incredible boyfriend basically bought me a house which is WAY more impressive than getting engaged in my book. This will be the first time we will have lived together and we kind of did it in a major way! Now, he has hinted to me the engagement part will be happening by our third year anniversary which is in November. He is VERY good at keeping secrets so who knows when or if it will happen then. Whenever and however it happens, doesn't matter. He is the love of my life and I am the luckiest girl on earth to deserve such a gem.

So...anyway...still I went to look because I'm doing research in order to educate Tali (who is a FIERCE jewelry designer and friend) on what I like. She is in charge of (when the time comes) going with Vadim to pick out the ring. Now, some people may say this is weird but trust me, I love my man but he needs help and guidance. He is totally cool with this. She also knows the diamond district and has connections. The bottom line is: I don't want him to get ripped off and I certainly don't want a ring from Tiffanys. You are paying for their rent and the name and a damn blue box.  I don't care about either.

Ok so the romance shit is done for the day. Let's cut to when I walk out of Tiffanys and get the phone call that....DRUM ROLL........we probably won't close on Monday. WHAT????

Now there are a cast of characters in this freaking show. The the sellers, the realtor, the lawyer and the mortgage guy. Now that I resolved (as in my previous blog) the dumb stick and wood issue by basically BEGGING the termite guy to write a letter stating it's no big deal we have ANOTHER PROBLEM! GO FIGURE! 

June 20th...termite inspection was done...damage was the report it CLEARLY states...that the back window of the basement needs to be repaired....

Over the course of weeks I ask for the repair to be made...FINALLY I get a letter with the repairs and a diagram...of what was done...and then...

The diagram shows where the termite treatment was...and then the back there is a little box that says: Damage shown on window....Damage shown on the window....

I get a call from Mortgage guy

"Uh....this needs to be fixed...or else we can't close...FHA policy"

HOLY SHIT! They have to get a licensed contractor in at the eleventh hour TODAY so that we can close on a house because a f**king window frame isn't fixed? All hell breaks loose. The realtor starts going nuts, the lawyer starts copying me on emails to the seller's lawyer. Everyone is panicking because this thing has dragged out for months and NOW there is a one small little window pane that is holding us up? WHAT? We are in trillions of dollars of debt in this country and me...little ole me is trying to buy a house and pump money into the damn economy and your going to tell me no because of a window pane????? Of course the seller is freaking out. She already spend thousands on thousands on the house and now this? Everyone is a mess.

My blackberry starts to smoke. I'm calling Vadim. I'm calling the mortgage guy. I call the realtor. I'm emailing. I'm texting. I'm pissed. I'm nervous. Everyone is breathing heavy on the phone not to mention it is 100 degrees out and I'm running out of Tiffany's during lunch hour in midtown Manhattan. I say goodbye to my friend as I'm still on the phone running to the subway. Why? Well, I told my mother I would meet her at the apt at 1 so she can give me boxes. What was I thinking. I run into the subway. I'm freaking out and wind up at a Dunkin Donuts with two munchins and a huge ice coffee that I can't finish and just make it on the A train uptown. I wind up hanging out with my mom in my room since it's the ONLY place with air conditioning. It's me, my mom and my parrot all in a room that fits a dresser and a full sized bed. It was a scene from a movie. The phone is CONSTANTLY ringing and beeping. What happens if we don't close Monday? When will we close? Will the bank find SOMETHING ELSE once again? I want this to be over. The mortgage guy tells me that unless they get someone in there TODAY to fix it, there is basically a very small chance we will close Monday. Which means probably pushing it back a week.  Oh no. No no no no no no no. Just when I think all hope is lost..a few hours later...I get an email from him stating the seller got it fixed and sent a letter and a photo of it by a licensed contractor. All the paperwork is in and now there is a better chance we can get this done. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed Fingers crosssssed. We now have two business days to finish up all the paperwork...well the bank does...we just sit...wait...and sweat....

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